How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
