I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
