On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
