Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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