i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
