thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
