i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize