There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i've created a new STD.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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