I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
