if you like me you must not know who I am
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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