Swine flu. Run for my life!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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