Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
