I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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