So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
