I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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