I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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