is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
