Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
