thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
