Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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