She said her name was "party"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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