I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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