I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
