Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize