I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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