There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
