id be glad to
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
