woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
sarcasm needs its own font
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
