I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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