She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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