Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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