Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
