My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
