Do you still have your period?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
