Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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