She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
