I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
