I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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