Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
