I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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