Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
