I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
