I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
