Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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