I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
