Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
