we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
