Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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