You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
