Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
