i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
