You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
50% drunk capacity currently
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
