I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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