woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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