I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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