she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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