I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Text me some of your sweat
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
