i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
