I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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