im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
