The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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